Monday, February 28, 2005

11:47 PM
one step forwards two steps back. didn't get to see yq today as he was having dialysis when i went. apparently he's got some git bleeding now, and he's back on the medication to increase his bp. poor baby...be strong...

claire got her o level results today; she should be able to stay in nj, especially since she's joining syf under modern dance. she seems a bit distressed though, and won't talk to anyone in the family. i guess there are some things that are easier to tell someone you don't have to live with.

spent about 4.5 hours staring at histology slides in cofm. and the most useful thing i've learnt is that the vagina stains purple while the esophagus stains pink! whee...

anyway, happy 20th birthday ling mei mei!

Sunday, February 27, 2005

11:22 PM
yq looks better today, but prof yap says he isn't out of the woods yet. his plasma creatinine is high so he's going on dialysis tomorrow. AST and ALT haven't peaked either, but she's hoping that the creatinine is from muscle mass as opposed to liver.

and yet, gut feeling tells me that everything's going to be alright. yup, good gut...

Saturday, February 26, 2005

11:01 PM
there are more important things in life...

like holding your loved ones everyday
and being able to tell them you care.
to be able to walk and talk and laugh with your friends.
to feel the sun on your skin and the wind in your hair.
to breathe.

i learnt so much today. it really helped to put life in perspective.

when mum told me that yong quan's bp was 60 at systole i was so scared. thank God his parameters were much better when i went to see him. his heart rate and bp were up, though his CVP was high and he was still on a ventilator. the doctor was worried about his lack of urine output but one of the drugs he was on was vasopressin???? he was also a little edematous and had a line inserted into his IJV.

it's hard to watch him as a friend, but i was glad i saw him. and as callous as it seems, it helped to think about the physiology behind his condition as well. they were pumping him with noradrenaline and dopamine and antibiotics...so many tubes into one little boy. at least he's responding to the medication.

a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. i thought yq's prognosis was pretty good until dad went through the facts with me. rationally i knew that heat stroke is a dangerous condition but it never really sunk in till now.

please pray for him.

12:29 AM
poor yong quan suffered a heat stroke today and has been unconscious for 8 hours. i hopped over to NUH PICU to give his parents my regards but didn't manage to see him.

you can call me auntie all you want my dear, just please get well soon...

tchs, i mean Hwa Chong Institution :p, held their cross country run today. apparently 5 other people besides yq passed out due to the heat and the school administration didn't even have a single ambulance on standby! it took the ambulence 30 mins to reach turf city from nuh - precious moments which could have made all the difference. and the most disgusting thing is that some boys actually STOOD AROUND HIM AND LAUGHED after he fainted! not to mention the PHOTOGRAPHER WHO STARTED TAKING PHOTOS of yq on the ground. what kind of little beasts are they? i'm so ashamed to be associated with them.

yq has been jerm's good friend for 4 years now; he's practically another annoying lovable little brother. he's such a brilliant child...this should never have happened...

thanks for letting me get it out of my system; i really didn't think it would affect me so much, but i guess these little boys just grow on you.


in other news...
aishu's welfare committee released their inaugural edition of pULSE, a medical faculty newsletter. it's a great idea, and a welcome break from the CA mugging.

CAs in 1 week, 1st professional exams in 4...and cortisol should be flooding my system. but for the moment, it's like being wrapped in clouds.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

11:53 PM
元宵节

动人的夜晚

华初仍然是最美好的地方

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

11:36 PM
graduation from salsa beginner's 1...

i've had a really fun time - from prancing around in an overcrowded room to the crazy suppers afterwards...it was all good.

think we're going to continue beginner's 2 in april, after the evil exams have gone away. till then...

Sunday, February 20, 2005

12:15 AM
poor dad and mum! they're still working at this insane hour. the life of medical workers...injury and illness know no weekends nor public holidays...

it's very interesting how people begin to use each other's catch-phrases when they hang out around each other long enough. like jess' seriously distorted limbo-rocking and the alvin-chris 'oh my tian'. haha... quite amusing when you actually manage to catch them at it.

the weather today was blistering. literally. i swear i'd have been able to fry an egg on the patio if i could have overcome the inertia to lift myself off the floor. insensible water lost by the litre.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

1:29 AM
histo is boring. but spots is actually quite an interesting form of examinations. if you know the answers.

claire's jc class came over to our house for their last supper - before the release of the O level results. hope she can stay in nj; she seems to like her class and she's really into modern dance there.

cms spent our last cell group meeting of the year playing scriptionary. it's hard! but we laughed ourselves to bits. i'm so glad i've found such a wonderful group of brothers and sisters in Christ. from morning prayer to carolling to cell group...it's been a joy being with you all.

Friday, February 18, 2005

12:09 AM
de-stressing (*cough* fine, slacking) always seems to get more fun as the test/exam draws near. salsa class was really enjoyable, especially since my dear insane wushu junior huiying attends it as well. the dynamics between some people can get quite... entertaining... :p

i really want to continue with the lessons, but due to the evil CAs and pros, i think that'll only be possible after the first week of april. hope there will be a new beginners' 2 class somewhere around that time.

ahh, mug mug mug....stress.......

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

12:00 AM
en's flown away!!! sent her and joan off at the airport today. they're going to melbourne and monash respectively. i'm going to miss her hyperness...

i think i'd have enjoyed studying abroad. but i guess i'm glad i didn't. XD

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

12:47 AM
thank you...

to everyone who had a hand in this.

but especially to you.

Monday, February 14, 2005

3:54 PM
happy valentine's day...

last night i watched as 5 couples celebrated the 20th year of their lives together. it was...long. haha, the priest blessed each pair of wedding rings and marriage seperately, so dinner was a long time in coming. was starving by 8.45 pm. but i suppose it was a very touching scene. nice to know that some things don't change.

uncle john and auntie pris held the function at their house - which was overrun with children as usual. and not so little kids as well. time really flies doesn't it? samantha, timothy, gerard, geoffery...they've all grown up. i hardly recognise them anymore. still remember when we used to tumble all over the field, trying to tear each other's throats out. mum said when we were babies i used to laugh so loudly i made gerard cry. haha, i guess that set the precedent.

dad and uncle john have been friends since they were 4, so us kids are practically siblings. civil conversation is all fine and dandy, but i kind of miss the crazy times we had.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

1:25 AM
haha. i'm melodramatic. don't take what i write too seriously. and yup i guess i really can study anywhere.

12:28 AM
yay! went to east coast park with my wushu batch today. my trusty roller blades haven't seen the light of day since secondary school but they're still going strong. yl, lmm and i bladed while lx, jy and by were on bicycles. i can't believe it was lmm's first time blading - he didn't fall once! apparently his excellent psychomotor skills extend beyond the boundaries of wushu.

we were going to have lunch at 12.30 but had to wait for huijun, so we decided to take a very long walk from the macdonalds area till past the chalets. we gave up at the food centre and stopped for some 110% natural sugarcane juice. and then....we had to walk back.

our exodus on foot continued to parkway parade, where i wolfed down lunch at swenson's at 3, then rushed home to pick up claire and jerm. had to do the reading at mass today, and mum and dad went for one of their ballroom dancing functions. i felt so grown-up and mature (read: OLD) fetching my sibs around the place. thomas went to orchard with his friends while claire, jerm and i ate at j8. claire and i shopped around a bit after that but jerm was his usual ornery self and stalked home first.

fun. fun. fun. wushu rocks! XD


from a conversation with a friend...

qn:
If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists.
And according to the principal that our works define who we are,
then God is evil.

reply:
Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself.
Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold -- a word that man has created to describe the absence of
God.
God did not create evil.
Evil is not like faith, or love, that exist just as does light and heat.
Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart.
It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no
light.

don't look at me, apparently Einstein said it.

Friday, February 11, 2005

11:45 PM
had 开年饭 at mahmah's house on chu er. though by the time mum finished cooking and we actually got there, it was probably closer to lunchtime. mum's cooking is really the best! i'll never get tired of it.

we stopped by uncle john's place after that. as usual, his house was packed with screaming, pre-primary, hyper children. glenn and a-chong were throwing themselves all over dad, thomas and jerome. little boys are so cute! and then they grow up. lalala...

can't believe we had school today; it's a friday for goodness sake! but it wasn't so bad. i woke up with left over festive cheer still bubbling around and the day just kept on getting better. though ash wednesday got pushed back to today, with all the associated obligations.

i went for stations of the cross and mass in nus. as always, it was a cozy, comfortable affair. it's nice to just leave everything in His hands once in a while. well, today marks the beginning of Lent; time of reflection and self-discipline and all that.

ahh, sugar high. coffee bean and tea leaf cheese cake. in the middle of the night. thank you.


addictive: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/

Thursday, February 10, 2005

1:20 AM
reunion dinner 3:
just a small steamboat with my immediate family as well as lai-e, ah-por and auntie-por. beef, chicken, fishballs, meatballs, crabsticks, tong choi, sang choi, mushrooms....lalalala....
dessert was or-ni and zi ma hu but i was a bit disappointed because they weren't very good. well, the food wasn't the main focus anyway.

HAPPY YEAR OF THE ROOSTER EVERYONE!

went to church in the morning, then to mahmah's house in the east. down south afterwards to ah-por's house, back towards 5th avenue to mum's grandma's house and finally to kai-ma's house in serangoon. cny is tiring.

i haven't snacked so much in a long time; i feel like a scavenger, eating from morning to night. love letters, bakkwa and my fatal weakness - pineapple tarts. i tried a grand total of 3 different kinds today and i pronouce the winner from Raffles Hotel. soft, flaky crust and pineapple filling of just the right sweetness. it's a good thing there weren't that many of them to begin with! the one from taiwan tasted strange and the other was too sweet. oh my, i'm getting picky!

another day of travelling tomorrow. hope everyone has a great year ahead. XD

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

6:01 PM
for a while i thought it was going to be a nice windy evening, but then the sun came back out again. it's been a hot chinese new year's eve.


reunion dinner 2:
sunday night at mahmah's house. mum and dad bought this huge, meat-filled 八宝盆, daibaleong brought the "hair" and ah wah cooked a whole lot of other festive food. i think i've had just about every type of poultry there is this cny. none of us touched the rice and we still couldn't finish the chicken, pork, prawns, jellyfish, duck, taupok, brocolli, scallops, shark's fin soup, pig tongue, leeks, cod fish...i'm sure i missed out a few but you get my point. for dessert (there's always room for dessert!) we had a flower-shaped fruit pastry filled with custard.

played a bit of mahjong after that. no money involved of course. it would be too easy for my little bros and sis to become addicted to gambling. haha... i suspect the chinese are genetically programmed that way.


for cell group yesterday we talked about the history of the church. it's quite interesting; the Catholic church doesn't have the most spotless past but at least we've always had a clear stand. i think that's important in a world where everything is relative.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

6:07 PM
i love my parents. they really do everything they can to make us happy.

it's funny how we can never wait to grow up - and then we do. and only when the dolls are put away and it's too late to try do we start clinging desperately to our childhood. where has all that time gone? when i was young i could count the days in catching moths and running wild with my siblings, but time seems to have sped up as i've grown older. suddenly months have flown by and it's time to welcome chinese new year once more.

i know i'm lucky. compared to most, i've been extremely sheltered and so have never actually experienced a major life-changing experience/trauma. till now, the real world has been filtered through the sieve that are my parents. haha...i suppose that explains why i can be so dense at times! but yesterday we celebrated ky's 20th birthday at my house and it struck me that such a state can't exist forever, no matter how much i want it to.

well i hope everyone had a good time at the bbq yesterday. sorry if i was a little mang zhang; i always feel responsible for the people in my house :) thanks jess for sharing most of the workload, as well as kenneth, daryl, jialin for doing most of the cooking. i know yanlian and deb felt a bit out of place but you'll did have fun right? at least the food was pretty decent. the wonders of a gas bbq.

jess executed her revenge over the doujiang youtiao matter by putting ky in a similar compromising situation. now we have 2 sets of blackmailable...umm...entertaining...photos. all in good fun of course.

happy birthday kah yee!


a quarter of the way into my life; where am i now?

Saturday, February 05, 2005

1:07 AM
hotel rwanda's a depressing show for a friday, but very touching. human beings are such vindictive creatures - why do we always seem to be hurting each other?

spent the 3 hour break between the anatomy lecture and thermal regulation lecture at beach road with jess. thanks to efficient shopping techniques we managed to buy ky's present and have lunch and eat tang yuan for dessert!

i'm really loading up on the sweet stuff; had swenson's apple crumble after dinner. pure sin on a plate (ice cream and caramel and butter!) i have such a weakness for desserts: cheesecake, apple crumble (apple anything actually), tang yuan, zi ma hu....oohhhh....

and you are supposed to be MY friend on MY side. even if i'm being irrational and impulsive....besides, i'm happy my dears...seriously confused...but happy...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

11:15 PM
ethics talk by dr denise goh, mbbs (HONS) md frcs fams etc etc, the essence of which was: don't make a decision which will get you sued.

in the past doctors had a more paternalistic approach to treating patients but now it's all about the business. somehow it's evolved into a client-service provider relationship. kind of disillusioning but reality had to hit sometime. if you're stuck between the greater good and the client's good, choose the client. because they are ones paying you. and the ones likely to sue you. sigh...whatever happened to wanting to help people?

and seriously, what's the point of choosing to do medicine if you don't value human life? it's quite troubling to think that i might have to refer someone who put their trust in me to such a colleague. like prof ling would say...how terrible...

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

11:18 PM
dr jan-thorston is a really great pdp tutor! besides the usual pretend-doctor-programme stuff, he let us watch a gynaecomastoid excision in the operating theatre and even arranged a laboratory tour (which included a shuttle ride to the engineering faculty). but i thought the most interesting part of pdp was still watching him in the clinic. he let us palpate keloids; the poor patients must have felt quite abused. XD

i've always thought i might like to do surgery in the future, but i wonder if i'll actually have the stomach to. watching the surgeons shoving the liposuction sucker thing around the poor guy's bosom was not the most appealing sight. i've seen more bloody operations but those on the breast seem to involve the most ripping and tearing.... and there's something about prosection of the eyeball that quite freaks me out - the eyes being the window to the soul and all that - so i doubt opthalmic surgery is the thing for me either. obviously i'm biased but orthopaedic surgery looks the most... professional? right now. all those shiny toys..i mean...tools...

sometimes i wonder if i should try my hand at research; dr thorston said that we could do projects with him if we were interested. the thing is, i'll probably lose my enthusiasm for staring down seemingly empty flasks before too long. no doubt research will become essential in most disciplines in the future though, so it might be good to have some undergraduate background. a short project perhaps, but not this academic year. my plate's full enough at the moment.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

1:05 AM
and there goes maturity down the drain...